Q: What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
First Atom: I think I lost an electron.
Second Atom: Are you sure?
First Atom: I'm positive.
Q: Why do seagulls fly by the sea?
A: Because if they flew by the bay they would be bagels.
Guy walks into a bar holding a chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer and one for the road."
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer..........................and some peanuts." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"
Two muffins are baking in an oven. The first muffin says, "Whew, it sure is hot in here."
The second muffin says, "Help, a talking muffin!"
And finally, if you want your students to just stare at you with blank faces tell the reverse knock-knock joke (I never get tired of seeing kids react to this).
Teacher: Say "knock, knock"
Students: Knock, knock
Teacher: Who's there?
Students: (stare blankly, then after a pause, some of them laugh)